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Holiday thoughts....

Not sure if i’m using Tumblr for what i’m supposed to use it for, but for right now - it’s a place to capture thoughts and stuff that i’d like to put out there…

Earlier today, I read a post on a great site for dad’s: Dad-O-Matic. The post provided Ten great tips for divorced dads to deal with the holidays… Seeing as i’m one of those, and I have difficulties around this time of year, I took note of the post…

The post gave me a lot to think about. Perhaps i’m doing the divorced dad thing at the holidays all wrong? Maybe there is a better way of doing things? It’s extremely hard to not have my son on Christmas morning - and this is coming from someone who isn’t really practicing any religion, go figure. It’s not about the “reason for the season” for me, it’s mostly about me being with my son and watching him open his gifts on that morning. Actually, it sounds very selfish, when I think about it. I often have other factors pushing and pulling on me during the holidays though, my family wants me to go to their events, and of course they want my son with me too - It’s not always possible. You’d think after 8 years there would be a better flow during the holidays, but it seems that I go through the same conversations every year. Conversations which deal with when my son can be with me during the holidays, when my family wants me to come over (and his my son coming?), and when I have to bring my son back to his mom’s for her side of the holidays…. It’s one of the stresses that I feel around this time of the year - and it doesn’t seem to get better from one year to the next.

Perhaps when my son gets older he will be more vocal as to what he wants to do during the holidays - but right now, he goes with the flow, trying to keep everyone happy. Much like his dad does. I tend to try to keep everyone happy, often sacrificing my own desires and feelings. Guess that is something i’m trying to break, and also teach my son that you can’t always have everyone happy. I do see a lot of myself in my son, and i’m trying to show him the error of my ways so that he can grow up and avoid some of the mistakes I may have made in the past.

Ultimately, I continue going with the flow too - but I do try to interject what I want and sometimes people are surprised by that - I think they’re accustomed to me “going with the flow”, and are taken aback by my change in behavior… the funny thing is, the change in behavior is who I really am, and before I was going along with what everyone else wanted - just to keep the peace.

Not a good way to live, in my opinion - and i’m still learning.

Isn’t that what life is anyway? it’s a series of lessons, the trick is to take what you learn and apply it to future lessons yet to come…

The future brings hope... and fear...

I can’t stop thinking about what has happened this week.  The fact that we have an african american as our President is exciting, and the fact that I feel a renewed sense of hope for the country… it’s made me actually, for the first time in my life, become interested in politics and governement.   For this to happen, it’s gotta be moving…  I mean, I was actually listening to the sunday morning news shows today while working on my computer, and taking it in…  I don’t know if it will continue - but I feel like it will.

This new future also got me thinking… Yes, the majority of americans (which voted) did elect Barack Obama as the new President of the United States, but what about the voters who did not vote for him?  How do they feel?  For the majority of the people that voted, this election brings hope - but for the minorty, it may bring fear…  Fear of having an african american in the White House.  In my opinion, fear breeds hate… and hate breeds violence.   That scares me.   Even if 1/4 of the people who didn’t vote for Obama become fearful, hateful, and violent… this could mean crimes related to those who supported Obama - and I don’t feel that is what should be happening in this Nation.

As John McCain said in his concession speech on November 4th, 2008: “I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our good will and earnest effort to find ways to come together to find the necessary compromises to bridge our differences and help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better country than we inherited.”

But will this theoretical 1/4 of the people who voted McCain do that?  I fear they won’t - and we’ll have a worse problem on our hands than the last 8 years.

I guess we can only wait and see what the future brings - I, for one, feel it holds much promise and hope.  Hope that those which initially disliked Obama can see through the hate and fear and begin to support a new President which can provide a major turning point in our country’s history.

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