Holiday thoughts....
Not sure if i’m using Tumblr for what i’m supposed to use it for, but for right now - it’s a place to capture thoughts and stuff that i’d like to put out there…
Earlier today, I read a post on a great site for dad’s: Dad-O-Matic. The post provided Ten great tips for divorced dads to deal with the holidays… Seeing as i’m one of those, and I have difficulties around this time of year, I took note of the post…
The post gave me a lot to think about. Perhaps i’m doing the divorced dad thing at the holidays all wrong? Maybe there is a better way of doing things? It’s extremely hard to not have my son on Christmas morning - and this is coming from someone who isn’t really practicing any religion, go figure. It’s not about the “reason for the season” for me, it’s mostly about me being with my son and watching him open his gifts on that morning. Actually, it sounds very selfish, when I think about it. I often have other factors pushing and pulling on me during the holidays though, my family wants me to go to their events, and of course they want my son with me too - It’s not always possible. You’d think after 8 years there would be a better flow during the holidays, but it seems that I go through the same conversations every year. Conversations which deal with when my son can be with me during the holidays, when my family wants me to come over (and his my son coming?), and when I have to bring my son back to his mom’s for her side of the holidays…. It’s one of the stresses that I feel around this time of the year - and it doesn’t seem to get better from one year to the next.
Perhaps when my son gets older he will be more vocal as to what he wants to do during the holidays - but right now, he goes with the flow, trying to keep everyone happy. Much like his dad does. I tend to try to keep everyone happy, often sacrificing my own desires and feelings. Guess that is something i’m trying to break, and also teach my son that you can’t always have everyone happy. I do see a lot of myself in my son, and i’m trying to show him the error of my ways so that he can grow up and avoid some of the mistakes I may have made in the past.
Ultimately, I continue going with the flow too - but I do try to interject what I want and sometimes people are surprised by that - I think they’re accustomed to me “going with the flow”, and are taken aback by my change in behavior… the funny thing is, the change in behavior is who I really am, and before I was going along with what everyone else wanted - just to keep the peace.
Not a good way to live, in my opinion - and i’m still learning.
Isn’t that what life is anyway? it’s a series of lessons, the trick is to take what you learn and apply it to future lessons yet to come…
7 months ago